If I compared my today’s myself to myself four months ago, one could say that I have less now than I did before. I did let go of some things, that’s true, but I also discovered myself a bit more. It’s hard to verbalise how valuable this is. In my opinion, it’s THE one thing everyone should strive to learn. Try to find out what you stand for and what are your values. How do you want to benefit the world while you’re here and how will you use your talents to do so?
In one of my latest Instagram captions I promised you to clarify my recent life decisions which brings me to this post. Before we start, let me confess that this post is a bit more personal than what I’m used to share online and I’m a bit shy to publish it as well. On the other hand I also believe that there might be someone out there who is in a similar situation as me and might benefit from my experiences. Enough blabbering though, let’s start.
Many things have shifted in a short period of time. Only four months ago I was in a long term relationship, with a stable job and income, and feeling ok with the whole situation. Things were fine. The relationship was working well enough, it wasn't perfect of course, but it was not a bad relationship either. The same with my job. I was teaching nearly twenty classes all around Vienna, but mostly in one particular studio.
I think the whole shift started as I got to the conclusion that it is the time to end the relationship. I realised that in the course of the relationship I started “losing myself”. You know, like when you slowly start changing the person you used to be for this new person you met. It sounds completely absurd, like why would you even do it. But it happens. The tricky thing is, that most of the times we don’t undergo this change consciously. It sort of happens when we decide to ignore our inner voice. The funny thing is, that I knew for years already what was happening, and still decided to ignore my intuition.
The exact same thing with my studio job: it was ok, not bad, but I knew almost immediately as I started working there that something was seriously off. Something didn't feel right but I couldn't rationalise it so I decided to ignore it. Don't ask me why. I guess that’s just what we humans do. We ignore the gut feeling when we can't see a rational explanation for it, and we are scared to move forward when we don’t see where exactly we are going.
The thing is though, that sometimes moving forward means taking a leap of faith. It took me weeks to find courage in going into the unknown. But the more I followed my intuition the stronger it got, and slowly I started seeing where it’s leading me.
I knew I wanted to continue teaching yoga, but I had to find a way that will allow me to do it the way I want. I’ve been asking myself a lot why am I doing what I’m doing and what is it that drives me. Why did I become a yoga teacher, what do I stand for and what message I want to spread? I’ve been also contemplating what yoga means to me.
To me, yoga is a tool accessible to anyone who is open minded enough to try it. It is also something that can benefit much more than only your physical and mental well-being. I believe that a yoga class is a place where you come to take a break from the world, tune in with your breath, mind, and body as well as connect with like-minded people. Creating a community is indeed something that is super important to me as yoga teacher. Over the past nearly two years teaching at Schottengasse (where I started teaching my first little group of yogis) I noticed people with similar vibe yet completely different personalities connecting and making friends.
As yogis we, sometimes unintentionally, make the choice to be mindful with ourselves as well as with the world around us. Now I see that my problem with working at the yoga studios I was working at, was that it made me feel like a fitness trainer, and there’s nothing bad with that, it’s just that I don’t see myself as a fitness trainer. I decided to give up nearly all my public classes to focus on something I really stand for and believe in. This, ladies and gentleman, is the story of how Y4E was born. By creating Yoga For Everyone I want to get the most out of a yoga class. I want to bring yoga to the people, create a space for people to connect and make this whole thing globally beneficial. Teaching yoga and leading a yoga class are to me two different things. When I teach a yoga class I want to give it my best, I want it to be special, and more than just a yoga class. I want it to have a purpose.
Right now, to be honest, I don’t know how exactly I will make a living of this, but I believe that when you are doing things with the right intention and work hard everything will be fine somehow. If I compared my today’s myself to myself four months ago, one could say that I have less now than I did before. I did let go of some things, that’s true, but I also discovered myself a bit more. It’s hard to verbalise how valuable this is. In my opinion, it’s THE one thing everyone should strive to learn. Try to find out what you stand for and what are your values. How do you want to benefit the world while you’re here and how will you use your talents to do so?
See you at Y4E!
Wishing you a wonderful next week,